CattleCam Masthead

Last modified March 8, -01.

Below are some frequently asked questions and answers.

Q:
Is CattleCam visible on the external web?
A:
Yes! However, it doesn't have all the features of the internal CattleCam, such as the archives and the Hall of Fame. Tell your friends!
Q:
Is CattleCam Y2K compliant?
A:
Yes. We took great pains to make sure that everything works properly.
Q:
What about the cattle?
A:
We are not sure. They haven't returned their risk assessment questionaires yet.
Q:
So just where are these alleged cattle?
A:
We are glad you asked this question. Generally, they are somewhere on the hillside, and would be visible more often if someone would donate a rotary positioner to us.
Q:
Why don't you get a rotary positioner for yourself?
A:
We are much too cheap for that.
Q:
How do we know that that donating a rotary stage would result in more cattle sightings? Are you sure nothing else is going on?
A:
OK. We admit that, from time-to-time, the aliens abduct them for experimentation.
Q:
That seems really hard to swallow.
A:
We have proof.
Q:
Is that all?
A:
You know that big power blackout on August 10, 1996 that hit most of the west?
Q:
What about it?
A:
It took CattleCam off-line, so we were unable to record images for a while. Note that it was on a Saturday, so of course we were not in the office (we have a cushy job for Silicon Valley). We can only assume that something was going on which the aliens did not want CattleCam to see.
Did we mention the fire?
And the artifacts?
Q:
OK. So what kind of experiments?
A:
We are not at liberty to discuss that.
Q:
Why do you refer to yourself using the royal "we"?
A:
Because we were clever enough to think of CattleCam.
Q:
Does that imply there is only one person at CattleCam?
A:
Our therapist has advised us not to answer that question.
Q:
Is there a disclaimer missing from the "build your own cattle" reference?
A:
Yes. It is: "Some assembly may be required."
Q:
Do you have a position on people staging events for the camera, or for that matter bringing their own cattle for viewing?
A:
Yes. We do not in any way suggest, condone or imply that activities such as you describe should be attempted. CattleCam is a network-centric computing project to facilitate the viewing of nature scenes. Our viewers should be aware that achieving 15 minutes of fame in the CattleCam archives is not the purpose for which we set up the camera.
Q:
You don't expect us to buy that part about network-centric computing, do you?
A:
Yes. And we notice that you are now referring to yourself in the plural as well.
Q:
How long has CattleCam been on the air?
A:
We first hit the web in 1996.
Q:
Haven't you got anything better to do?
A:
That sounds rather judgemental.
Q:
Where can I get my hands on that great WebCam software?
A:
Due to the significant alien technology content, we obviously can't release it to you, the general public.

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