first person in your neighborhood to suffer from the Napoleon Camplex!
(Feb 25, 2002)
The Napoleon Camplex is the latest upgrade
to the CattleCam. This is a totally new way to experience CattleCam. Thanks to
a return call from alien tech support, we are now able to allow you, the
general public, to control what you see. We now have a second camera location,
providing a different view point. The new camera has pan, tilt and zoom
control, and pretty decent magnification. Night vision mode has been added for
after-hours fun. We have also upgraded the capture machine horsepower, so we
can take pictures more frequently.
You will need to upgrade to a higher speed
web connection, as the images files will be larger. This site will not be
suitable for whiny dial-up users, so get DSL now (or better yet, a direct
OC-192, just to be on the safe side).
The Napoleon Camplex has entered gamma test
prior to be unleashed on the planet. Bear with us as we debug it and add
- We will be adding archival functions, so
that you can see what happened in the past.
- We will be adding to our alien evidence
collection as new information comes in.
- We will add a daily movie feature, like
the original CattleCam, but probably MPEG2. We would prefer to use the
original alien format,
but we can't due to legal
You may conduct your own
campaign and control the actions
taken by the Napoleon Camplex by selecting from the menu on
the top of the page. There are two control modes:
Voyeur. In Campaign mode, you control
the view. In Voyeur mode, you watch what is happening.
In Campaign mode, there are 2 basic methods
for exerting influence. You may click on the image to generate a new image
centered on the cursor location. Or, you may use the alien technology control
panel on the bottom.
We haven't fully deciphered the alien
documentation, so you'll just have to try for yourself. Your mileage may vary.
Do not place over your head and pretend it's a helmet. Caution: may be hot if
spilled on your lap. Do not put fingers in door before slamming. Not suitable
for framing. Some feelings were hurt during the making of this film.
Professional coder on closed system - do not attempt to re-create at home.
Contains software and software by-products. Airbag may deploy when system
crahses - sit at least 3 feet from your monitor to avoid injury. Allow 4-6
weeks for delivery.